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10/17/11

{Guest Post} Shannon: The Scribble Pad

I recently stumbled across The Scribble Pad while Shannon was hosting an awesome series of guests posts on marriage.  It did my newly married heart so much good. . . and that is why I'm super pumped to have her sharing today her own personal thoughts on marriage.

Her words below were so simple, yet profound.  Yet I was inspired and blessed.
So read up, be challenged to grow closer to you own dear hubs and then skip on over to Shannon's blog and follow the adventures.  You'll be so glad you did. . . 

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Hi, I’m Shannon from The Scribble Pad and so excited to be here with you today.

In case you haven’t met me yet, my husband Mark and I just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. One of my gifts to him was two weeks off from creating new blog content. I held a marriage mini-series, check it out here. So after 4 years of dating, 5 years of marriage, and a mini-series on the topic, plus throw a baby in the mix and we are pros. {kidding}

Since you don't all know us, here are a few pictures pre-baby and post-baby.

Married 3 years.
Married 4 years and pregnant!
Married 5 years with baby.
Marriage has been a journey of learning, but nothing has left a greater mark than a message we learned during pre-marital counseling. Honestly, I am not sure we really understood how important this simple message was until over a year into marriage. It is just two words, but made an incredible impact.


As arguments and disagreements arose in our marriage we have been subtly reminded by how important these words and what they entail are to maintaining a solid foundation.

Marriage is not just about the clichés:
moving onward and upward
don’t sweat the small stuff
saying “it’s okay”
brushing it under the rug
never going to bed without saying “sorry”

In fact, if you live by any number of these mantras, you are likely to harbor resentment or let incidents slowly chip away at the joy of marriage.  That is where these two words come into play.

For even the most minor infraction, Mark and I hash things out. Sometimes this is simple, and other times it gets pretty ugly. We make an effort to reconcile the situation.

But that is not the only step. The key is the restoration of the relationship. We try our best to follow up our reconciliation with a simple question posed by the offender: Relationship restored?

To be honest, arguments can be painful, so the answer is not always yes. I am stubborn, so I like to hold on to my hurt. When I say “No” I am making Mark work for it. I hope and pray that this is for the betterment of our marriage, not out of my sinful heart. But either way we always come back around to a place when we both can nod and hug in agreement that the relationship has been restored.

This sounds like heavy stuff, I know. But during times when communication was difficult or stress levels were high, this made the world of a difference.

During the first year “honeymoon stage” of our marriage, we practiced this process over simple things:

Changing the channel on tv
Breaking a glass vase
Forgetting to pick up something from the grocery store
Not making the bed
Shrinking a favorite sweater in the laundry
Leaving the gas stove on and almost killing us with fumes…
*some of these hypothetical examples may have actually occurred

Our practice proved fruitful. When harder times came, it was natural for us to reconcile the difference and proactively restore our relationship. We are a stronger family unit today because of these two words. I could never be grateful enough for this simple lesson.

8 comments:

  1. Wow. This is brilliant! Marriage is also one of my favorite topics but I absolutely love what she Shannon had to say. Especially the "Relationship restored?" question. Sometimes even after forgiveness is offered in our marriage, I still don't feel like we are fully 'restored' and I've never quite known how to communicate it. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and ideas! Both of you!

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  2. :) awesome Shannon, love that I am reading a marriage post from YOU! You are Mark are awesome. Great post.

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  3. love this! this a great point of view of the ongoing repentance and forgiveness that must take place in a healthy marriage.

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  4. Beautiful job, Shannon. You are so lovely.

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  5. thanks for such kinds words ladies! and a huge thank you to Nicole for letting me guest post.

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  6. Amazing relationship advice. :o)

    ♥Jazmin

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  7. Shannon. Best. Post. Ever. :)

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  8. I love this! It's so practical and solid. Something that all of us can apply TODAY!

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