read how the Much Love, Me Project started right here
then read and be blessed.
When Nicole posted about this project, I knew I needed to join. I feel like each of us has the ability to inspire others with our stories, trials, and triumphs.
Immediately after I met my husband I fell in love (I am talking about love at first sight kinda thing). We were married just four months after we first met. After we got married, I started to think about having children. With a family full of older siblings, I have been babysitting and loving my nieces and nephews most of my life. It seemed only natural to want a sweet little one of my own. Shortly after being married a year, we got pregnant with our first little child. The timing was perfect. I would have the baby just a few months after I finished my college degree and would be able to stay at home full time as a Mother. It seems like those first few weeks of my pregnancy I spent my time planning what my life would be like for the next eighteen years or so.
At my twelve week mark I started to notice a few things. I wasn’t growing like all of my other friends (who just happened to be pregnant at the same time as me) and one day I started spotting (which isn’t supposed to happen when you are pregnant) I called my doctor and he assured me that everything was probably fine, but to go to the ER if anything got worse. It did get worse and after one trip to the ER and an ultrasound with no heartbeat, my world was shattered.
All those plans that I had made changed in as quickly as they had come. I had not really planned what I would do if I was not going to be a mother (which you can clearly see by my degree in History and Sociology---what is a girl supposed to do with that!). As soon as I had miscarried and was allowed, we started to try to get pregnant again. Every month for the past year I would get my hopes up high that I would get pregnant, only to be totally crushed when it didn’t happen. After graduating from college I had to make new plans with my life.
That summer I worked at soccer camp for kids. I loved every second of it. At first it was hard for me to be around children. Every time I would see one I would long for a child of my own. I would cry myself to sleep at night praying that somehow I would be able to become a mother. When the summer ended and I had to start looking for a real job, I decided that I might try looking for a job as a teacher. This is what I ended up doing.
I may not be a mother but I do get to spend most of my day caring, teaching and hopefully inspiring the generations to come.