life right now

Can I just be honest??

Sometimes life just doesn't go like you plan.
At least in our house.

Friday was our big day we should have been boarding that airplane for our favorite place in China.
But now Friday will just be another day in our week.
So many friends were so incredibly generous and gave sacrificially to our trip. . . but at the last minute when it really came down to booking the tickets a week before we should leave, the numbers just didn't meet.

Deciding not to go to China was probably one of our harder decisions we've had to make this last year.

Hard because it doesn't feel like the 'spiritual thing' to not have that 'blind faith' that believes God will come through at the last second.

Hard because we both don't want to settle for comfort and predictable in our lives.

Hard because how do you really know where faith and stewardship meet.

And most of all
Hard because we have so many people we adore and want to see tomorrow.

And if I'm really honest with myself, my days are full of everyday-ness.

chalk on the driveway
bags of library books for the kids
toy piles being shuffled from one place to the next
paying those bills for what feels like the millionth time
trying to keep up on that Mt. Neverest of laundry in the corner

and none of that seems as exciting or worthwhile as spending two weeks with the orphans that we love.

So despite the disappointment and more weeks of normal, everyday life
we are really thankful that God
loves us enough to sovereignly orchestrate our lives.

We are thankful that He never allows one thing to happen that's not working for His greater good in our lives.

PS.  If you are reading this and you gave to our trip, you will be receiving an email from us soon!  Thanks and we love you so much we could squish ya!


  1. So sorry that things didn't work out as planned... it's tough when that happens, especially when you've been so much looking forward to it. Like you said though, God always has a bigger plan even if it's not clear what that plan is just yet. Can't wait to see what he has in store for you two :)


  2. I'm so sad things didn't go as planned..but maybe for now that's how things WERE meant to be. I love you friend...you know I'm always a text/phone call away!!

  3. Hate when this happens, but I'm such a strong believer in everything happening for a reason!

  4. Maybe it just wasn't right this time, but that doesn't mean that next time it won't be!

  5. Such faith! I'm sorry. How disappointed you must feel! I'm still thinking you'll make it back to China to see those orphans someday. Maybe you will do more good there later. The Lord's timing is interesting and easier to see in retrospect. I know you trust Him.

  6. "Hard because it doesn't feel like the 'spiritual thing' to not have that 'blind faith' that believes God will come through at the last second.

    Hard because we both don't want to settle for comfort and predictable in our lives.

    Hard because how do you really know where faith and stewardship meet."

    Yes, friend, YES. These are the real and true struggles of every life of faith. We can only bring to God a heart that is willing - he must do the rest. And he is ABLE - whether he chooses to work the way we want him to or not. This is the test of true faith - believing God is able and accepting the "No" just as we would accept the yes.

    Love you! If you fancy a trip to the city of lakes where there are lots of former orphans for you to love on it would be our pleasure to give you the time of your lives. ;)

  7. Praise God for working in us through our everyday lives! My friend and I were talking about this last night and it can feel like such an awkward place to be in. God's plans are better than our own and whether comfortable or uncomfortable, God is alive and working in us! Thank you for sharing your heart! :)

  8. That IS a hard decision... I don't know if I would have had the strength to do it. Sorry you are not going, but I trust that God will give you the strength and peace and direction you need, and in the end you will be more than alright with this.

  9. I love stopping by your blog! I really feel moved to tell you about Ann Voskamp's blog (aholyexperience.com), if you haven't heard of it! Although her current posts ironically detail a trip of hers overseas, she most often writes about finding God's love wherever you are.

    "Forget the bucket lists that have us escaping our everyday lives for exotic experiences. It's only in [the] expressing of gratitude for the life we already have, we discover the life we've always wanted ... a life we can take, give thanks for, and break for others. We come to feel and know the impossible right down in our bones: we are wildly loved --- by God."

  10. oh, it's so sad that id didn't happen..


  11. much, much, much love.
    you are dearly missed.
    but you are right, He doesn't make mistakes.
    we can trust Him!

  12. Nicole,
    I'm so sorry that you and Adam didn't get to China with you. When I hear you were going my heart skipped a beat and now I will carry you in my prayers. I pray that you would be encouraged as you are reminded each day (maybe even when your climbing Mt. Neverest) that JESUS LOVES YOU and He SEES YOU and KNOWS YOU! I hope that you will know even more each moment how HIGH, WIDE, DEEP, and LONG HIS LOVE IS FOR YOU!!!
    Praise you Lord that your timing is perfect and I ask that my sweet friends would continue to be given your grace, strength, wisdom, and mercy as they run the race that is set before them looking only to you.

    Nicole thank you for blogging and sharing your thoughts and heart in the easy times and the challenging ones as well.
    May the Lord Bless you and keep you!!!
    <3 Sarah Berthelet

  13. I am so sorry about this. :-( I have been dealing with some uncertainties recently and I can understand in that sense, but to have to decide when it seemed so close to reality must have been very hard. Love you friend!

  14. so sorry your trip didn't work out :( there is a reason for everything, and I'm sure it will all work out in the end for you guys!

  15. I'm really sorry, Nicole, I very much identify with everything you said here. it feels so hard to know when we should move forward in blind faith and when God is wanting us to wait... the only thing I can figure out is living moment by moment and trusting that God is working for our ultimate good.

  16. I'm sorry to read this. :(
    But, I believe everything happens for a reason.