How Do I Know?

Sometimes I don't know if I really truly know how to love people.
I mean really truly honestly l.o.v.e. people.

Not the loving of people like my adorable best friend in California whose makeup and clothes are always perfect.  Because when we have a chance to spend the afternoon together, we can't stop talking and laughing and reminding each other how lucky we are to have the other.

Not the loving of Husband-boy.  Because he knows how to make an english muffin just perfectly how I like it and sends me nice texts about how he misses me when I'm away at a bachelorette party.

Not the loving of cute pudgy cheeked babies or orphans that steal my heart or my sisters who make me laugh.

Rather I wonder if I know how to love all the other people in the world.  And just the patronizing thought of Yes of course I love everyone in the world even when they aren't just like me doesn't cut it.

You could have found me on Wednesday in a big long twisting line at a certain Hot-Topic-Chicken-Restaurant.  It rhymes with Pix-Suh-Laaaa . . . in case you were wondering.

I went because 
a. I love the No.1 sandwich 
b. I believe we should all have the privilege of free speech.
And c. Refer to point A. 

Since then, I've been doing a lot of thinking on the whole matter.  Thinking about the whole reason why our country is up in arms over one fast food chain.  It's almost as if it boils down to this.  Whether we agree or not, our friends and neighbors and family who chose a different lifestyle than other are feeling a lack of genuine, true love.

It makes me sad.  Have I been part of this?  Have I allowed my words, my action, my looks or even my lack thereof to scream this message.  I wonder if I could somehow have the brain and heart of Jesus inside me this second, would it really cause me to live a different way?

I would like to think that I live out True Love everyday.  
I really don't.  Because I believe if I actually did, it would change the lives of those I spend my time with.  It would change the way I view them.  The way I speak of them.  The way I live around them.

What if I spent 5 minutes in genuine conversation with a coworker who wanted someone to help him find a boyfriend?

What if I stopped to smile and engage several minutes with that child pushing himself in his wheelchair?

What if I picked up the phone and scheduled a time to hang out with that friend who I don't see just level with?

What if I searched out the needs of people in my community and helped to meet them?

What if I helped someone chase that seed of a dream in their heart?

What if I actually learned what it means to love people like Jesus does. . . how would it change my corner of this world?!


  1. I know I keep telling you this ... but your writing ... your words ... I am obsessed. Truly. I love this post so much. And I will probably stare at that last picture (and question) for a while. :)

  2. I love this post especially the what ifs.


  3. Lovely post!


  4. Yes. Thank you for posting this. <3

  5. I'm loving all the perspectives on this issue that are flying around. For my own curiosities sake, what's your opinion on this article (http://amylentz.tumblr.com/post/28594566862/on-christians-chick-fil-a-and-the-ostracizing-of-a)?

  6. We have opened up our lives and hearts to those that have chosen a different lifestyle. We are the absolute, only family that our friends son is around. What if we hadn't have done that. Our dear little friend would not know how much he is loved by a great, big family! He wouldn't be around a Daddy and Mommy that love each other and had all these "brothers" for him to get to play with. We are a part of his family! Our friends wouldn't know anything but hate from heterosexual couples. Now, they actually know not all "Christians" will dispise them. We just never know what our lives are speaking until we open them up to the uncomfortable, the unacceptable. These are deeply hurt people. May we be the love of Jesus that other's see. Just being around those that we "like" doesn't grow us, challenge us. May your post go beyond "what if", into action!

  7. What a great thought for me to start off this week with. Wonderfully written (as all your posts are!).

  8. This is a great thought. I think it helps to just send love out, there is no right or wrong way to do it.

  9. Oh, you beautiful soul you...the fact that you are asking yourself these questions leads me to believe you do have the capacity to love like this. And I suspect you always do. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Grant yourself the same grace you give to others, and it'll flow babe. I'm going to leave you with this quote, one of my favourites. It's the inscription from the tomb of a bishop in the Westminster Abbey, and it reads as follows:“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world; as I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change my country, but it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas, they would have none of it.And now I realize as I lie on my death bed, if I had only changed myself first, then, by example, I might have changed my family. From their aspirations and encouragement, I would have then been able to better my country, and who knows, I might have even changed the world.” Keep changing the world, friend. You already have it figured out that it starts with you. xo

  10. beautiful. again.

  11. Oh girl! I feel like you just reached inside my heart and wrote this post! Although you have written it so beautifully!! =)
    Couldn't agree with you more! I feel so incapable of loving some people while others are so easy to love. Some relationships are just so hard while others and just never anything but a blessing.
    Thanks for sharing your heart! You are beautiful!
    Much Love,


  12. I am an out lesbian writer with a wife and children and I have been lurking on your blog (and a lot of other Christians' blogs) for a while for research purposes. ...researching the fact that all fundamentalist Christians are bigots...

    ...and you have absolutely proven me wrong on that point, with this post. I'm sorry to have carried that opinion but the truth is, we have gotten SO much hate from "Christian" groups. And I grew up with a grandfather who was a minister (and a professor of religion). So I have first hand experience with Christianity...

    ...and I have been let down by the religion for just being my true self, and for finding a committed, monogamous, devoted love of my life (the way you have found your husband). I must say that I may never see the world through the same eyes you do re: organized religion, but I just had to post this anonymous post to say thank you. For this open mind and heart you have. Thank you for painting a better picture of Christians. Keep on doing what you're doing.

    - an anonymous person on the internet