When Imperfections Are Ok

I struggle with wanting perfection in my life. . .

I want the kitchen wall to get that last bit of paint and the cupboard doors back on before I post a kitchen tour.

I want to be done 'discussing' the same issues with Adam for the 27th time this year.

I want my toilet scrubbed and no piles of 'life' lying around the house when people come to visit.

I wanted to get skiing right the first day I tried, finish every book I check out from the library, and perfect alignment on my blog design. I obviously am not doing so well in the alignment department right about now; onto the fix list it goes.

I want every photo I take to be perfectly focused and worthy of an art contest.
 Then I happen on this photo that Adam took of Emmett in my arms right after his first carousel ride this summer at Knott's Berry Farm.  I felt like I was living my own version of Ashley's post here.  She was talking about how when you are learning about photography, you don't want to always be caught up in capturing a technically good photo.  This is SO ME.  In the past I would have been tempted to just trash any and all blurry photos. . . not now.  Now it's my precious boy's face and I am captivated.

Those little dimpled hands all stuffed into his mouth.  His big blue saucer eyes staring at me.  His perfect head that I love to kiss.  No one else may value this photo, but to me it is so special.  I hope I am 99 years old and still smiling over the memory.
 This got me to thinking about how sometimes imperfections in life are really okay.

One of my biggest fears in parenting is expecting perfection from our children.   I am tempted to believe that somehow by getting enough advice, by reading enough books, by praying enough prayers; we could be guaranteed to raise successful children.  When the truth of the matter is, I can't even boast of perfection in even one area of my own life.

I remember how hopelessly flawed I still am.  How desperately dependent I am on Jesus each day.  How often I still have to apologize to those around me.  How even at 26, I am a slow, slow work in progress.
I took this ^^ photo on Thursday morning.  Emmett and I were just lying on the floor, he was rolling around and jabbering about obviously important baby matters.  Then he stared at me with those massive blue eyes.  I was furiously trying to capture the magic of the moment, but the low morning light and my clumsy manual skills got the better of me; producing this grainy, off-focused picture.

But somehow has managed to slip into my Top Five Favorite Emmett Photos.  It must be those eyes. . . Then and there I decided to blow it up big for my wall in hopes that it always be a reminder to me that our imperfections are glimpses into His overwhelming grace.  And may it remind me for years to come, that my children need to feel this same thing from me.

1 comment:

  1. What a great post! And a timely reminder. Perfection is just so dang tempting and of course always JUST out of reach. I think as creatives this strikes us where it can hurt the most....we have a true passion for writing and expressing ourselves and of course passion is rarely perfect but quite messy instead, and wanting it to be perfect in some way only gets us tied up in knots. Thanks so much for sharing!