Living In Gray

Most days I am a happy, self-declared free-spirit.
I love my last minute adventures, late(ish) morning wake-up calls and unfortunately I am usually at least five minutes late wherever I go.

But then there are the moments when I crave black and white.
I crave the idea that a predetermined set of rules can provide a favorable outcome.  I crave doing things right the first time, all the time.  I crave some kind of formula for success.

It wasn't until this summer, that I finally began to learn what it means to live in gray.  I am learning what it means to let go and just do what works for me.  For our family.  For Emmett.  For our life right now.  Learning that it's okay to be different from the rest.   That it's okay to live outside the lines.

Here is a little bit of our gray right now.

// After lots of advice from some dear friends and also after reading this amazing book, we helped Emmett to learn to sleep through the night at two months old.  After his bout of whooping cough this summer, two weeks in California, a road trip across the west, and several other schedule upsets; Emmett and I have had many nights of hanging out before the sun comes up.  I am learning to embrace and cherish these moments, as we gently guide him back to sleeping through the night.

// All the cool bloggers say the prime time for posting is in the morning, during prime internet surfing hours.  There are even complete flow charts on the best and worst hours for social media.  I gave up trying to get posts completed during the day and embraced the quiet, late night hours.  Hello, midnight oil!  

// Between evenings at my family's house, Wednesday night youth group and other commitments throughout the week, Emmett has never had a set nap or bedtime.  He has a beautifully flexibly personality.  Sometimes I worry that I am cheating him out of daily, set routines and I wonder if it will affect him down the road.

// Adam is currently gone at work almost sixty hours a week.  These means we have no regular supper hour, no set bedtime for Emmett and we usually always go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.  I am slowly and sometimes painfully learning to value this season for what it offers us right now.

// Because of my late night routine, I am rarely out of bed for nine o'clock every morning.  This means Emmett has lots of cuddle time with me in our big bed in the morning hours.  Sometimes I feel foolish for not being up with the sun and hence all other successful moms.

- - -
What ways do you live in gray?  I'd love to hear!!

Happy Friday, friends!


  1. Sorry about his whooping cough :( that is so hard, I totally understand the sleepless nights. Addison had it this summer, she still has her lingering cough. This was a really good post. Looking for the good and keeping perspective is key during different seasons. Thanks for the encouragement.

  2. Very nice post. Something I needed to read this morning where I woke up feeling a little inadequate myself. I too need to learn to enjoy the moment.

  3. Exactly! That's what we're embracing over here too. I was just moaning about that fact when I rolled out of bed at 7:30 . . . again. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make my body rise earlier than my wee one. Night hours and naptimes have become my blogging time, and I'm learning to be OK with that. Everyone's body, family, routine, and circumstances are different and it's ok to live in that reality. This encouraged me. Thanks girl!

  4. No worries, Mama! My husband works 60 hours a week too and the boys go to bed late whenever he's home. Some moms crave routine, others don't, and all kids turn out amazing anyway. You're doing a wonderful job. I know it. :)

    Also, who ever said you can't write a post and schedule it to publish it in the am?

  5. As far as pictures go, I have always loved black and white. That first picture is gorgeous.

  6. Ok, I love, love this post! That books title totally drew me in-my son is 4 months old but this looks like a book I probably should have read. I'll have to read it for the next one....which will be a long long time from now...or whenever the Lord decides, he could change my plans I'm sure. We have dirty dishes constantly, eat frozen dinners and often put our son to nap on his belly b/c it's the only way he would sleep. We have lots of gray!

  7. How did I just now see this post? I will have to respond to this in a post sometime.....there is just too much to leave in one comment! Sometimes I feel like my whole life/world is gray. I so love this concept of embracing the gray, and setting ourselves free from the pursuit of perfection. You go, girl.

  8. Considering that we're preparing to move for the third time in 18 months and that I'm super excited that Arianna will finally have her own bedroom for the first time next week -- it's made for a lot of flexibility in schedules, as well as being creative with available space. I tend to think that a smothering of love and kisses while meeting the little one's needs can cover a multitude of these 'gray' areas when it comes to parenting!