Luckily, due to the wind chills of -16 today, Adam had the day off work so we laid around the house all morning and literally did not one productive thing. It's like we are having a vacation after our vacation. Amazing!!
He is currently at home taking care of the boys and I'm sitting in a coffee shop about ready to pound out some work that I've gotten behind on. But first, I wanted to quickly share something that's been on my heart for a while.
If I'm honest, somedays I just want a two hour break. I want to get out to the coffee shop to just sit in peaceful silence and not feel guilty for catching up on emails. I want to sip a hot drink that I would never take time to make at home. I want to have a chance to step back from microscopic moments of motherhood, so I can remember who I am as a child of God. I don't want to be defined by this precious job that fills my every waking hour. I want to be defined by the bigger picture of who God wants me to be in His story.
I've come to realize that instead of feeling hurt and squelching my need for a break, I simply needed to start asking. Asking if he would watch the babies so I could go to the coffee shop. Even simple things like asking if he could keep the house running while I just sit in our peaceful room and enjoy some quiet. Guess what?! I was surprised how happy Adam was to say yes. What he said shocked me. He said it's so helpful for him when I ask for a break. He said that he doesn't always know how to give it to me, even though he wants to. He knows that I need time away and when I ask, he morphs into this empowering, giving person, pushing me to go out even when I start to second guess myself. Of course I don't mean this at all to put down the person Adam is. He is wonderfully selfless and loving and sacrificial in more ways than I could ever hope for. This is just an area we are learning to grow in together.
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