But when I spend so many moments, days, weeks, months petitioning the gates of heaven for something heavy on my heart, something I feel I need, something that would bless our life, something that would heal relationships. . . and then slowly realize He might be saying no. Gosh, that's a hard pill to swallow if I'm honest with myself. I don't like to see the manifestation no's in my life.
The last month or so, I've been praying and asking God very specifically for something in my life. It wasn't anything greatly spiritual or earth shattering. Just something on my heart that I desired and was excited about. Last Sunday, I realized with a sinking heart that the answer was no. And while it's wasn't a huge shock to me, I was surprised with how crushed I was. I had really been hoping for a different outcome.
So after a good long cry in my bedroom and slowly realigning my heart with Truth, I felt like God was whispering to my heart that sometimes in He is showing His grace to me in the no.
^^ my favorite yes's from God, though!! ^^
If my hopes and dreams were always fulfilled, I would never have need to check my motives or the attitude of my heart.
If my own plans for my life always came together, I would never have the chance to see the beautiful bigger picture that God was creating.
And while I will probably never fully rejoice when I realize I am facing another no to my prayers, I hope that little by little, one prayer at a time, I can practice gratitude for the sovereign hand of a gracious, all knowing Father that has my greater good in mind. This, my friends, makes it all worth it.
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